Chill Out and Puzzles

It's been two weeks since I finished school, and I must say- it feels rather strange. I guess after all that work, I sort of expected trumpets from the skies, or a parade or something. (Call me egotistical...) Anyway, I kind of had a tiny, baby breakdown after school finished. Freaking out at my dining room table, I silently wondered, "what now???" Yes, for all my goals of deeper trust in God, I am still freaking out when I shouldn't be. But over the past two weeks, I have been slowly adjusting to the idea that I don't always have to be running in a million different directions. And once again, I am reminded of the fact that I don't have to know the ultimate plan for the universe, or even the ultimate direction of my life. "Hi, my name is Jasmine. I am a control freak. But thankfully, Jesus is patiently weening me off my addiction." If I could sum up God's instruction to me these past two weeks in two words, it would be: Chill Out. Not overly divine sounding I know, but I really do feel that this is my task for now. Sometimes I feel as if my life is made up of a bunch of puzzle pieces... from different puzzles. And when I can't see immediately how they're all going to fit together, I start to panic. Frantically I start grabbing pieces and trying to force them to connect. It's so easy for me to run away with that thought. The other night though, I was able to take a breath in between my hyperventilating and hear the words of Jesus "Chill Out. I've got this under control, and it's really not necessary for you to know where the next piece goes. Aren't you happy my dear, I've given you a break from your crazy schedule. So enjoy it, and chill out." I didn't hear this audibly, but I'm pretty certain that was the gist of the message. 

If you, dear reader, have ever felt the panic that I do when surveying an uncertain future, or felt the anxiety and restlessness of a waiting period, then I hope you will be encouraged by my simple lesson to not scorn the times of rest. Take it a day at a time, and be thankful for the break. 

Just some late-night musings... I think I'm off to find a puzzle, and a glass of ice water...

~Jazzy